I was trying to write a serious post about my family this morning, but I don’t know if I’m ready to go into my relationship with my parents. On the surface everything’s awesome, but even though I was a very lucky kid it’s hard for me to delve into my past. Ugh.
So I decided to write about something a bit more lighthearted… kind of. I have rapid cycling bipolar and every single day at sunset I would sink into the typical bipolar depression. The worst part of the depression was that I knew that in the morning I’d feel better but I couldn’t fall asleep to save my life. My now-fiance would be on the phone with me every night trying to cheer me up and keep my mind occupied, but there were many many nights that he wasn’t successful. Nothing that he could say or do would be able to lighten my spirits or take the heavy depression away from me and we both knew it.
I did discover that after a certain point in my depressive state, however, comedy movies or TV shows would be able to lull me into a kind of stupid state where I could ignore my depression. I’d have to be incredibly tired and feeling empty-depression rather than heavy-depression (if you know what I mean). The depression wouldn’t go away, but I’d be able to focus only on the thing that was supposed to be making me laugh rather than the lies bipolar disorder was whispering in my ear. It would make the time go by a bit faster until I was finally able to go to sleep. I wasn’t laughing or amused really, but I was distracted enough to not try anything drastic.
I don’t think that comedy helped by making me laugh, because it didn’t. It helped because shows like Jackass and Reno 911 provide such a contrast from what I was feeling, where nothing is really serious or has consequences. It’s escapism at its finest.
Most people without bipolar would think that it’s obvious that humor and comedy would help someone who is depressed, but they don’t understand that chemical depression robs someone of their ability to feel amusement. Something as simple as laughing becomes almost impossible. I’m grateful that I was able to find a bit of relief because I know that plenty of other people with bipolar don’t.
Do any of you guys have tips or tricks to handle depression? Is there anything that can help pull you away from it, even if for only a short time?
-Ashes
(please excuse my rambling sentences and unfinished thoughts.)
Hello again, Ashes. I wish I had an answer to your question.
Tips? I try to sleep and cuddle with my dogs and cats. Well, whatever ones will come in the bedroom! Sometimes, just talking to them and petting them helps me to forget things.
I love Reno 911! It’s in that class of shows that are so stupid, they are funny! Try Vampires Suck sometime, if you already haven’t. They tend to overdo it in some scenes, but it’s not serious at all! I was a fan of the Twilight Saga books, but was very disappointed in the movies.
That’s another way I get out of depression–I read. If I can get past the first chapter, I’m usually good to read the rest of the book.
Reading was how I made it through my childhood. I would read until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Reading is great for so many reasons!
Pets can be so helpful for bipolar. I’m the same way; I’ll want to snuggle tightly with my parents’ dogs. Especially the MinPin because he’s so tiny and lazy. He lives to be cuddled.
I like all sorts of comedy, from satire to wit to stupid. I’ll look into VS! The fiance and I would probably appreciate it 🙂
i used to read,but my anhedonia is often too bad for that. or i can read short pieces. if i am lucky,i can find something interesting enough to hold my interest. if not,i have found i can listen to an interesting podcast.i am easily bored,and it’s kinda dangerous for me. so it makes me a bit nervous. i love to learn though. unfortunately something i find interesting is conspiracy stuff,which end up making me feel worse. but at other times if i can find something to engage my interest…not easy,but possible…that helps. and it helps to find someone interesting to talk to,like the local librarians or my sister,though i dont’ see either very often. sometimes music helps too.
Music is amazing because it doesn’t ask anything of you. You can feel better or be distracted without obligation. I’m sorry that reading isn’t in your grasp anymore but at least you have other ways to learn! Have you tried audiobooks? They’re a really good alternative to actually sitting down and trying to focus on reading. You can multitask and enjoy books at the same time. I couldn’t handle conspiracy theories, I’d go nuts too.
Thanks for commenting, Diane!